Principal's Address

I have the unfortunate parental trait of constantly imagining the worst-case scenarios and then jumping into action to prevent them—even though these incidents are highly unlikely. This habit has two unintended consequences: I can never fully relax when my kids are doing normal activities—playing in playgrounds, swimming at the beach, or riding their bikes—and my kids miss out on the opportunity to make their own safety decisions, take risks and build resilience. I'm working on it.

When searching for reasons behind this, I point to a few culprits: living in Brisbane when my daughter was born, my mum's love of watching A Current Affair and my own discomfort with the idea of my children getting hurt.

I know this mindset isn't helpful for their development, but since moving to Roma, I've made some progress. The more relaxed, free-range parenting style of my neighbours has been a positive influence. Sometimes, no one knows exactly where the kids are, which used to cause me immediate panic. But time and again, the kids have proven that they're aware of their own limitations and capable of keeping themselves safe.

Russell Shaw, head of Georgetown Day School in Washington, D.C., and a 30-year veteran in education, tackles this issue in a recent article for The Atlantic (Lighthouse Parents Have More Confident Kids - The Atlantic. He argues that the instinct to intervene is often misguided and that parents should sometimes consider doing nothing. Shaw refers to "Lighthouse Parents"—those who offer safety and guidance but allow their children the freedom to navigate their own challenges.

“One of the most important shifts parents can make,” Shaw writes, “is learning to substitute our impulse to fix problems with the patience to listen.”

I really like the idea of being a "Lighthouse Parent"—steering kids away from the rocks and major dangers while letting them explore the rest of the ocean on their own. Let them take risks, let them fail, and let them learn. This approach applies just as much to their schooling.

In education, we often talk about the gradual release of responsibility as students progress through school. The aim is for them to leave as self-motivated, organised and efficient learners—skills they can only develop through experiencing their own challenges and finding solutions that work for them.

By giving them the freedom to make mistakes and the support to learn from them, we help them become resilient, confident and capable—qualities they'll carry with them long after they leave the playground or the classroom.

Cheers, 

Mark